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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22541956">Shelter</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonanonymous/pseuds/moonanonymous'>moonanonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Haven [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Disease au, Gen, Plague AU, Sequel, there's some drug use but nothing too crazy, this is the sequel to my other fic called Haven</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 14:21:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,566</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22541956</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonanonymous/pseuds/moonanonymous</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years after John and Jade escaped the horrors of Haven, they live in a blacked-out apartment, go to college during the night and try their best to live the most normal lives they can. However, re-introduction to society is never easy, especially when being discovered is akin to a death sentence.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Haven [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621945</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John sat curled on the couch, textbook balanced on his knees, scanning through his notes in near-total darkness.  He heard from behind him the latch of the door open, and Dave’s voice echoing in the tiny hallway. </p><p>“Coming in.” </p><p>There was a small metallic whine as the blackout curtain covering the door was pulled open, and then shut again.  John glanced up to see Dave emerging through the second blackout curtain, which lay over the entrance of the hallway leading to the door, pulling his shades off his head.  </p><p>“God, it’s hot as fuck out there,” he said. </p><p>He stood, blinking for a few moments before his eyes adjusted to the dim light of the living room, which was only brightened by a cluster of three dim candles flickering in the corner on top of an old chest. </p><p>“How was class?” Asked Jade, who was sitting in a large, stuffed armchair with her socked feet stretched out over the coffee table.</p><p>“Fine.  Not that exciting.” </p><p>“No dead things today?” </p><p>“Nah, unfortunately not.  You guys turned on the TV today?” </p><p>Jade stretched her arms up behind her head and yawned, glasses perched on the end of her nose. </p><p>“Nope,” she said.  “We haven’t been up for that long.” </p><p>“Well, it’s all over the news,” Dave said, kicking off his shoes to join the pile of various sneakers clustered around the curtain, “they’re considering lifting the state of emergency since the last infection was like, months ago now.”</p><p>John looked up from his book, where he’d been diagramming the nucleoid of a hamster cell. </p><p>“Damn, seriously?” </p><p>“According to the news, yeah.  Pretty crazy, right?” </p><p>John nodded and looked back towards the book.  It felt strange, possibly being the cause of a state of emergency to be re-instated.  Well, if it ever came to that.  He looked down at his hands, nails painted black to hide the grey and the back of his hand covered with frequent layers of semi-permanent spray tan which only sort of gave him a resemblance of his old skin color.  Not that too many would even recognize him now, with what Rose nicknamed his ‘10,000 years of trauma’ gaze and the fact he was still so short.</p><p>“You working tonight?” Dave asked, flopping down on the couch next to John and threatening to crumple all of his bio notes.  </p><p>“No, tomorrow,” John replied, pulling the stack of papers out of the way and trying not to think about yet another night trying to keep his eyes half-closed against the burning fluorescents of 7-11 while talking to drunk people until four in the morning.</p><p>“What time is it?” Jade asked, “Shouldn’t Rose have come back by now?” </p><p>“Mm, it’s only sunset now,” said Dave, “I think she was staying in the library to work on a paper or something.  If you don’t mind I wanna see if the news is saying anything different.” </p><p>“Go ahead,” John said, and Jade nodded in agreement.  Dave grabbed the remote from between two couch cushions and turned it on.  The TV, on the lowest possible brightness setting, flared on and John watched as the silhouette of a reporter behind a desk filled the view.  He turned back to his bio notes, tracing over his earlier drawing and double checking that he hadn’t mislabeled any of the parts. <br/>Jade swung her feet off the coffee table and, picking up her cane that was adorned with dog-stickers from next to the chair, pushed herself to her feet. </p><p>“I’m gonna put some coffee on, you want any?” </p><p>John and Dave both gave sounds of  agreement, and so Jade stepped into the kitchen to boil some water.</p><p>“It’s probably bad to be this addicted to caffeine, but like, I feel like that’s part of the college experience, y’know?” </p><p>“It’s the only part I’m gonna get,” John replied, grinning slightly.  “No dorms, no frats, no real classes during the day even but thank God we get to guzzle all the coffee we want.” </p><p>“Exactly.  Well, you can still drink.” </p><p>“Yeah,” John said.  “The college experience is kind of limited to beverages in this household.” </p><p>There was a loud crack, coming from behind the third blackout curtain that blocked off the entrance to the balcony.  John jumped, glancing around quickly. He looked over at Dave, who shrugged.</p><p>“Sounded like a firecracker to me,” he said.  “Maybe people are happy about the whole CDC thing.” </p><p>“Yeah,” John said, trying to get his heart to stop racing. </p><p>His hand, without realizing, had jumped to the pocketknife he kept tucked into the front pocket of his jeans.  </p><p>“I can check, if you want,” Dave said, glancing sideways at John’s tensed arm. </p><p>“It’s okay,” John said.  “It’s nothing.”  </p><p>Dave turned back towards the TV, and John to his notes. </p><p>A few minutes later Jade re-appeared, carrying a full French press of coffee in her free hand and an empty cup looped around her finger.  </p><p>“There’s coffee,” she said.  “BYOC.” </p><p>Dave reached up, grabbing the coffee pot from her and leaning it gently down on the table as Jade sat back down.  John looked around before <br/>spotting an empty cup sitting up on the arm of the couch and pulled it towards him.  There was only a thin rim of brown circling the bottom and it smelled alright, so he held it out for Dave to pour the coffee into. </p><p>“Did you really just grab that random ass dirty cup in order to not have to get up?” Dave asked, but still poured the coffee. </p><p>“I mean, what am I gonna do,” John said, lifting the coffee to his face, “get sick?”</p><p>“Fair enough,” Dave said, settling back down on the couch.</p><p>Just then they heard the door opening again, and the sound of faint yelling filled the room. </p><p>“It’s dark,” Rose said, “also you should come outside, it’s pretty funny.” </p><p>“What’s going on?” John asked, as Rose came through the second curtain, shrugging off her backpack.</p><p>“They’re celebrating,” Rose said.  “Fireworks and everything.  It’s like an impromptu block party.” </p><p>She crossed the room and pulled back the curtain covering the glass doors of the balcony.  Outside the stars were just beginning to prick in the sky, but John could see that there were some lights coming from down on the street.  As Rose pushed open the sliding door the tiny apartment filled with noise, chattering and popping and whooping.  John closed his textbook and stacked it on top of his notebook on the table and followed Rose out onto the balcony.</p><p>They overlooked a small alleyway, filled with more apartments on the other side, and it seemed like the whole complex was outside.  In the alley, groups of people were lighting off small fireworks, someone was blaring music out of a boom box, and scattered across several balconies were groups of people clustered and watching the hubbub below. Jade came up next to John, leaning forward onto the rail and looking down.  A few of the larger fireworks popped up to where their apartment lay, disputing sparks that lingered in John’s vision even with his eyes closed.  Rose lit a cigarette between her teeth and ran her fingers through her hair, exhaling gently. </p><p>“Hey neighbor!”  </p><p>John glanced to the right of him, where, on just the next balcony over, a group of people stood chatting over bright, pop-y music.  A girl with shoulder-length blonde hair and a huge smile waved at him over the several-foot gap between their balconies. John smiled and waved back, double checking out of habit that his skin was the right color, and wondering for a moment if he’d remembered to put his contacts in. </p><p>“You wanna drink?” The girl yelled, holding up a half-empty beer bottle in her own hand.  </p><p>John laughed slightly. </p><p>“Sure,” he said, nodding as the girl stepped towards the edge of the balcony and leaned down for a moment before coming up with another bottle. </p><p>“You better be a good catch, I don’t want this to go to waste,” she said before lobbing the icy bottle towards John’s.</p><p>He reached up and caught it with one hand right before it crashed into his head, and the girl looked at him with wide eyes and started to laugh. </p><p>“Oh my God I’m so sorry,” she said, “I tend to throw a little too aggressively when I’m drunk. And I tend to get a little too drunk when there’s something this good to celebrate!”</p><p>  She leaned her stomach forward over the balcony rail and held out her hand.  Pink nail polish glittered on the ends of her fingers, and her face was slightly flushed. </p><p>“I’m Roxy,” she said.  “Sorry for trying to kill you with a beer bottle.” </p><p>“John,” John said, reaching forward as well until their fingertips brushed together slightly.</p><p>“I guess this is not a great distance for a handshake,” she said, and then laughed, standing back up and downing the rest of her drink in one go. </p><p>“We’re having a little thing over here,” she said, gesturing the various people around her, milling in and out of the apartment.  “Obviously, I guess.  </p><p>But feel free to come over if you want to have a conversation without shouting!  It’s just like, next door, the door’s open and everything.  You can bring your girlfriend too,” she said, jerking her head behind John.</p><p>“What?” </p><p>John turned around to see Jade still leaning against the balcony railing and staring down at the fireworks in the street with a contented smile on her face.  Either she wasn’t hearing this yelled conversation or she was pretending not to, but John thought he saw a tiny smirk come over her face. </p><p>“She’s my – like my sister,” John shouted back to Roxy.  “Not my girlfriend.” </p><p>John reached down to pull open the beer bottle in his shirt, taking a long swig.  He drank often enough, but that was only with Jade and Rose and </p><p>Dave and the most exciting thing that usually happened was all of them making Dave go buy Doritos at 7-11 and then eating them on the balcony.  </p><p>Talking to girls seemed so far out of the question given that he was completely nocturnal and the height of an eighth grader, and the last girl he’d really even given a thought towards was, well. . . John shook his head quickly, ridding himself of the shadow images flickering in the back of his head.  Roxy was there, leaning over the balcony with a smile on her face, a genuine smile of someone who has seen mostly good things in life, and John was not going to spend his remaining time dwelling on darkness.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>- years in the past, but not many -<i><br/>	Kanaya linked her fingers around the chain-link and pressed her forehead to the fence. She stared forward, at the long strip of road and the almost-invisible puff of dust coming from the car. Her stomach felt shriveled and hollow. She gripped the fence until she could feel her pulse in between each finger. It was the right decision, she knew that well. It was no decision at all. There had only been a moment – one brief fraction of a second, where she looked into the eyes of the tall blond boy whose name she had already forgotten, and imagined herself scaling the walls and leaving forever, and returning back to a town that was full of people in hues of tan and pink and brown and then as soon as she pictured stepping in the green-painted front door of her own childhood home she found herself shaking her head, rejecting his offer, and forcing herself to send the last two remaining children in Haven to safety. </i></i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	The captain goes down with the ship. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	She let go of the fence, softly stepping backwards and sinking to her knees. Already John and Jade were fading from her mind, turning from Present, Real into Past, Imagined. The last glimpse of each of them had been from her position crouched ungracefully behind the skeleton of a car, peering through the dirty glass as the girl had led Jade into the street, and Jade had looked up and around at everything for one last moment. John and the boy had come next, and Kanaya saw the tear tracts cutting grey lines down the dirt on John’s face. She saw them hold hands. She saw them scale the fence and step into the small brown car. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	She felt, for a moment, a strange sense of déjà vu, as she had once caught John in this very position, watching another pass through the gate, and she had warned him, if not with words, but with her eyes, what the cost of those dreams were. She hadn’t meant to stay back and watch. She had her exit, her last words, what she hoped were enough of a scare and a comfort to the two untouched children that it would make them guard John and Jade as preciously as she had. But the thought of seeing them a last time, to watch the very end of their life in Haven, it pulled her back. The same way that she knew that Terezi’s body was hers to cut down. The way that she had pulled Vriska’s head into her lap, even after she knew the knife had sunk in too far. The way that she had listened to Karkat’s last, gurgling exhale and begged every ounce of her body to stay in the moment, to not forget a second of it. Kanaya was there to watch the endings of all of those she loved, and as she sat, watching the faint red pinpricks finally fade into the darkness of the desert, she wondered, not for the first time, who would to bear witness to hers.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	Roxy’s apartment was loud. It wasn’t just the music, thought John as he stepped through the crowded living room, it was everything: the neon pink and orange hues splashing the walls, the myriad of chattering party-goers, most sporting lurid colors of eye shadow and glittered clothing, the three lava lamps that John could see through the throngs of people and the fact that everyone seemed so incredibly excited. John looked down at his hand and then back up again, after seeing that the makeup he re-applied was not smudged. On his left, Jade clutched nervously to his arm, her left hand clutched around her dog-sticker patterned cane. Behind her Dave had drifted over to investigate the source of the pop-y synth beats, a bored-looking blond guy scrolling through his phone, and attempt to get a few of his own Soundcloud tracks thrown in the mix. Rose had stayed on their balcony to finish her cigarette, though had all but threatened John and Jade if they stayed behind with her. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	The apartment, though the exact same layout as their own, felt a tenth of the size with the crowds of people, and John was beginning to get nervous, some walled-off part of his brain thinking for half a moment that crowds of this size could only mean a drop, and that it wasn’t too long before someone was gonna pull out a knife. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	“Hey, neighbor!” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	John started and looked up from a couple twisted together on the couch in front of him to see Roxy’s face right above his own. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	“Hi,” he said, raising an arm in a half-wave and then immediately lowering it. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d spoken to a near stranger without some sort of partition between them, and it was usually the graciously wide 7-11 counter. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	“I’m so glad you came, we’re just starting up! Come on, I’ll introduce you to a couple people.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	She took John’s other arm and pulled him forward as John pulled Jade in turn, and the three of them squeezed between a man and a woman arguing viciously about what John was pretty sure was some kind of chess move, to step out onto the balcony. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	It was only slightly quieter, but immediately after stepping out of the crowded interior of the apartment John felt his chest loosen slightly. There was a large blue cooler, and two people sitting out on slightly sad-looking metal chairs; a girl with short curly hair and round glasses, and a boy in extremely short yellow shorts and slightly mussed hair. The boy looked up as they approached and gave a small salute to Roxy with two fingers.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	“Hey guys, it’s my neighbors!” Roxy said, pulling John forward. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	“This is John,” she said, “and John’s – sister, right?” She asked, looking back at Jade. John opened his mouth to correct her but Jade just grinned and said, </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	“Yup, I’m Jade. We’re from across the balcony.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	“Ah, the far off lands of yore,” the boy said. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>John couldn’t tell if he was British or just putting on a bit of an accent. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	“This is Jake and Janey,” Roxy said. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	“Just Jane,” the girl said, smiling. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	“Oh wow, y’all all have one syllable J names, this is gonna get confusing,” Roxy said, leaning against the balcony across from Jane and Jake. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>	“There’s nothing wrong with a good tongue twister,” Jake said, stretching his arms above his head and standing up. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Like your tongue needs to do anymore twisting, eyo!” Roxy said, leaning back against the balcony. Jake shook his head slightly and laughed, pushing the balcony door open and heading back into the party. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“That didn’t even make sense,” Jane said. Roxy gave her an over exaggerated wink.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“So what year are you guys?” Roxy asked, turning back to John, “You do go to UM, right?” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah,” John said. “I guess I’m technically a sophomore? I’m twenty-one, though, cause I’m doing it super part time.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah, me too.” Jade said. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Ah yeah, I get that. Those loans fuckin’ suck, I honestly should’ve been working more as I go. But we’re seniors now so almost done! I’m a Comp-sci major, by the way.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’m in Bio,” John said. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Engineering,” said Jade. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh that’s super cool! There’s like, a computational biology class that I was in for, like a week before I switched out but the department seems really cool. What’s your specialty?” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I haven’t decided yet,” John said, as Jade curled up cross-legged in the chair. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Aren’t you thinking about pre-med?” She asked. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah, maybe, it’s a lot of school, though.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“True,” Roxy said, “you’d probably be hella rich after, though.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I think you should,” Jade said. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>John made eye contact with her across Jane, who had removed something small from the pocket of her coat and was twisting it in her lap. John felt slightly strange, as he always did when he looked too far into the future. He and Jade didn’t really talk about it, and it was true he had considered doing premed back when he was eighteen and Jade’s more obvious symptoms hadn’t started yet. Eight years was a long time to give, even to someone with a normal lifespan. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I wouldn’t be a normal doctor, though,” John said, more to Jade than anyone else. “I’d just want to work in a lab or something.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Discover the cure for whatever next big disease is hitting us after this?” Jane asked, then sat up. “Sorry, that sounded cold. I feel like all this celebration might be too good to be true, though.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>She gestured forward off the edge of the balcony. Below on the street there was another pop and the sound of a glass breaking. John glanced back down at his hand, and then took a slightly too large gulp of his beer.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Damn, Janey, way to bring down the mood.” Roxy crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side. Jane sat up straight, and John looked to her lap to see a small plastic bag containing two pink, grainy pills. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Sorry, sorry, I’ll be better in a bit.” She gave the bag a small shake. “You want any tonight?” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Nah, I’ve been drinking too much,” Roxy said. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Fair enough,” Jane answered, and then opened the bag and popped one of the pills in her mouth, grabbing a can of Tab from under her chair to swallow it. Jane raised the bag. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Either of you two want it, then?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“What is it?” Jade asked. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Molly,” Jane answered. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Don’t worry though, we’ve tested it, and my roommate Callie is the one that pressed the pills, she’s legit,” Roxy said, “but no pressure, of course.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“She calls this one ‘Special Stardust’,” Jane said, looking between John and Jade, “though that makes it less appealing to me.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’m good,” Jade said. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah, me too,” John said. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Okay, I’ll go see if Jake wants some,” Jane said, pushing herself to her feet. “It was nice to meet both of you, I’m sure we’ll see each other again, I’m always over here. See you later, Rox.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Party responsibly,” Roxy said, and then spun around to take Jane’s empty chair as the balcony door slid open and shut.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Actually, I’m gonna go inside too,” Jade said, “I’m getting cold, and I should make sure that Dave isn’t threatening the DJ.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>She picked her cane up from the ground and pushed herself to her feet, following Jade into the party and closing the door shut behind her. John took another large gulp of his beer, and found himself at the bottom of the bottle. He crossed the balcony, pulling another bottle out of the mostly water-filled cooler and twisted the cap off in his shirt. He took another long sip and then turned back to see Roxy sitting with her legs up on the railing of the balcony, pink tights under a short, black skirt, and she was smiling at him.  She patted the empty chair next to her, and John came and sat, sparing one look inside at the party. No one seemed to notice them. In the corner of the room he spotted Rose talking to a short girl with bright green hair, and next to them Dave and Jade laughing about something on Dave’s phone, the screen bright white in Jade’s glasses.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Are you guys twins?” Roxy asked.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Huh?” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You both said you were twenty-one.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh, Jade, yeah.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I guess that explains why you’re both short!” Roxy said, giggled and then exhaled quickly. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Sorry, that was mean, I think it’s cute that you’re short.” Roxy giggled again and then pushed her face forward into her hands. “God I’m really going in the deep end here.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“No, you’re good. We’ve gotta be short cause we stack together into a full-size person.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>This made Roxy laugh again, and John smiled too, and his head was starting to feel nicely fuzzy now, enough that under the pretense of adjusting in the seat he scooted his chair a half-inch toward Roxy’s.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I like that image,” she said, “I always wanted a twin, but like, identical or some shit. Do you guys get along?” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah, most of the time. Do you have siblings?” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Nah. I mean, maybe. I like – I grew up in foster care pretty much my whole life, so I guess I could have like, half-siblings out there somewhere but I doubt it.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh,” John said, “I’m sorry.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Roxy waved her hand in the general direction of John’s head. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“It it what it is y’know? Mom dies, dad is MIA, but then once I turned eighteen, bam!” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Bam?” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Roxy tipped her chair back, taking another long sip of her beer. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“My mom wrote Complacency of the Learned. Did you ever read those?” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>John blinked a few times. He remembered the books suddenly, some long-distant memory springing forward of three huge green and grey books spilling out of Rose’s locker during passing period.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“No, but one of my friends really likes them.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah, they’re great. Dense as hell, though. I can’t even remember how many times I thumbed through them, when I was way too little to even know half the words. And then for a while I hated them, and hated that the only thing I had was just these books stuck full of stupid allegories, when she – “ </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>There was a very long pause, in which John looked down to his hands and back three times.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Sorry,” Roxy said, “spaced out for a sec. The tldr is I turned eighteen the royalties got transferred to me. So now I’m like, rich. Which is crazy.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Roxy looked over to John. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Well, sorry for unloading my whole life story on you like an hour after we’ve met.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“No, it’s fine,” John said, “I really don’t mind.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>She smiled, eyeliner smudged in the corner of her eye. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You’re sweet. But you’ve heard too much about me, what about you?” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“What about me?” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You know, who’s John? What’s your deal, why are you here?” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>John shuffled the beer glass around in his hands. Roxy exhaled, wrapping an arm around <br/>John’s elbow, and leaning her head down against his shoulder. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Is this okay?” She asked in a small voice. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>John felt a shiver run up his spine, and then relaxed, melting down into the cold metal of the chair, feeling the warmth bubbling up from his stomach and across his arm and shoulder. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah,” he said. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>A roman candle spit suddenly into the air, bursting bright green in front of the balcony. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You don’t have to talk,” Roxy said, “I know that’s not always people’s jam.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Thanks,” John said, for slight want of a better word. He tilted his head to rest it on top of Roxy’s as another firework, red this time, burst in front of them. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>John breathed slowly, inhaling and exhaling, Roxy’s head smelling like an odd but not entirely unpleasant combination of fruity shampoo and beer. At some point Roxy’s hand slipped lower on his arm, and he felt her cold fingers creeping across his wrist, and so he twisted his hand and she slipped her fingers between his, giving John a squeeze that he quickly returned. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>John’s head was spinning at this point, and his heart was beating fast, and somehow on this cold, metal chair on a cramped, shitty apartment balcony John felt so comfortable that he closed his eyes, and let himself breathe deeper, and then after what could have been seconds or hours the balcony door slammed open. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“John, you here?” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>John’s eyes snapped open, and he turned around, feeling suddenly freezing to see Dave standing in the doorway. Behind him, the party seemed slightly mellower and had cleared out a bit. Beside him, John felt Roxy start to stir, and feeling incredibly guilty he gently nudged her head off his shoulder. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Is everything okay?” John asked, though his stomach seemed to already know the answer. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Jade’s not feeling great,” Dave said, with the leveled voice that he usually reserved for lies, “she wants you to come home.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>John’s heart began to beat slightly faster. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Okay,” he said, and untwined his fingers from Roxy’s, placing his beer bottle on the ground and standing up. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Everything good?” Roxy asked, slightly blearily. The curls of her hair were slightly mussed to one side. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah, we should just get going. Thanks for the invite,” Dave said, reaching forward to grab John’s arm. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Bye, Roxy. Thank you,” was all John could say, his head was spinning, his stomach was knotted up and Dave was already pulling him quickly back through the living room and out the door towards their apartment.</i>
  </i>
</p>
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